Screaming for help
No one comes
I’m afraid if I scream louder
Someone would see
Problems surfacing
Can I even try
Can I seriously stop and be relieved
I haven’t been able to for so long
But miracles do happen
I feel so
So hopeless
Dreading
Where I’m heading
Dreading who I am
Shameful as I am
Incomplete as I am
Problematic as I am
Dreadful as I am
I just want to put an end to my sick being
Wondering if my life is even real
Worried
Sick
Hurt
And scared
The good in me can wait
I’m sure it can
But I feel like I can wait no longer
The battle of good and evil
I just want someone that can help
And it feels I’m all alone
And if I am
I’m greatfull for that at least
At least I’m not inflicting my turmoils on anyone else
Like so many have done to me
As the battle continues inside my head
I wish I could be relieved from this stress
I just want to stop trying
If I stoped trying maybe it would be easier
But maybe the problems I face would worsen
It’s hard being honest
The secrets I hold
The fate I bare
I hope it’s an easy one
But it doesn't feel like it is
Maybe I’m blowing it out of proportion
I’m just really regretful
Especially because my greatest escape is not caring
About anything
So much that I get very sad
Lonely
Just to get thrown in the pot again, and make more mistakes
No one to talk to
No one to help
Only me.
I’m tiered of pretending
Screaming for help won’t work either tho
I want to go to a peak of a mountain
And just scream
Or just jump off
I know it won’t get any worse than it is now
I guess that’s the silver line
That is actually one of my happiest momentous
It can’t get any worse…
At least I have that…
But I guess
Let’s just hope it gets better
