This is nice but the last line doesn't make any sense and the grammar is off, I think.
but breezy ( you have typo) if done well, suits the windmill perfectly.

You are almost there but we foreigners to the language have a little comprehension problem specially in grammatically. You aiming are though perfect, most of the times. The last lines often doesn't make the connection you need, or think they do.
I think regarding your age and the extra language barriers, you are a prospect in haiku and senryu....
Just keep practicing, and be true to yourself, you will see.