It’s hard when you get that dreadful feeling
Like there’s nothing in your power to stop something from happening
Something your going to make happen
Something that’s happening to you
Agents your will
Like your in the wrong place
And life demands that you take a step left
When you so desperately want to step right
The thing is
Life is full of sad unwilling forces that make you take those sad unwilling steps
You just get use to them I guess
Maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem
When it really comes down to it
At least that’s what I hope for my future
I just pray
And deep inside I know
I won’t cross infallible lines
That might cast me away to the eternal depths of lost grace forever
The mistakes I have now
Are the worst
It’s amazing knowing that I am at my worst
With so many uncounted blessings
Don’t think I don’t notice
Despite how I look feel act and resent
Wallow cry hate and hurt
I count my blessing every moment
When the sun comes up
I’m warm in bed and I’m happily resting asleep
Dreaming
When I wake up
I make my bed
And take my meds
I call my family
Great full that I have this beautiful opportunity to talk to the people who are trying just as hard as me
Great full that I act right and I’m perfect in so many ways
Most of the time
I can’t be flawless
Although I pray I can be eternally some day
I have rehabilitation and recovery pulsing in my veins
Sadly I have this incurable
Sickness
I’ve suffered from for a very long time
It didn’t become a problem
It really didn’t
Until life kinda started slapping me in the face with it
Telling me it was
Or until it just got
Old
But I’m not a problem
I swear you that
But others might be
And I have to be conscious of that
But life’s not a problem
I just don’t want to be caged
Please
Let him have this one
