Deep feelings, thank you for sharing the way you feel. Youre very unique, each of us is. What is the standard for the "right" amount to feel? A walking wound, that cuts deep, the pain is real I understand you, I relate to you. Some people say I'm not ok... Each and every day I remind myself IM OK!!! Im ME!!! I'm just fine, the spectrum of emotions, the struggling, the winning and losing... Im OK. Its only when Im told over and over again "Your not ok" that I start to question myself... My sister saying I'm the worst human ever over...??? A drunken argument 3 years ago when she had ghosted me. I don't remember the words I used, it was for attention, the wildest and most attention grabbing texts I could think of. Its unforgivable. I've forgiven everyone of everything done against me. How could family... she tells me I'm no longer her brother, so how could ex family just go away, gone? This has been the story of my life. I guess its easy to go through people because no one ever getts too close. They dont quite see the mental illness struggles. For no reason what so ever I ran them off by being mean. This was so stupid and so childish of me. I've grown and building a solid support network. Im DONE running friends off.