Holding a candle to her shadow

by Star   Jan 31, 2023


December approaches its end,
clouds trail mountain tips,
and my soul barely holding
onto me as she shivers
aggressively.

I don’t belong,
and neither does she.

She keeps transiting
from the lines of reality,
to the abyss within me.

I thrive in nature,
that’s when
we become
one,

but

she yearns for the
night shining clouds,
that’s how we
lose balance,

for the world I live in
has yet to experience
them.

December approaches
its end,

twenty seven candles
huffed this year,

we drift from each other
she roams on her own.

Another candle is lit now,
but I don’t belong to myself
anymore.

She will
persevere
through
the coldness
that I fear,

so

take me to the lakes
where all the poets
went to die,

maybe then
we will
just be
me.

*Poem for Larry’s contest with Taylor Swift lyric “take me to the lake where all the poets went to die” from the song “the lakes”

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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Congratulation for the win, Star! Well deserved.

    • 1 year ago

      by Star

      Thank you for inspiring this!!

  • 1 year ago

    by Skyfire

    Love it love it!

    • 1 year ago

      by Star

      Thank you thank you ^^

  • 1 year ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I honestly could not guess who wrote what, and I usually like to guess, but I will tell you that this is the poem I gave the most votes to! I also had a hard time deciding if I wanted this quote at first because it's been one of my favorite songs off of her album, on the deluxe edition I believe?

    One thing when reading again:

    "She will
    persevere
    the coldness
    that I fear"

    - This could just be me, but I'm not too familiar with "persevere" used in this way, and thought that changing it to "persevere through" or "she will outlast/survive the coldness that I fear" would make it read more smoothly? Totally a perspective thing though and I don't want to give a suggestion if you would prefer I don't! I think what you said here is so profound though.

    I also took this poem in a wider sense, going beyond December and giving metaphors to the types of cold within us. Feeling close to each other, yet drifting apart. I can't put into words the longing you made me feel in this poem - the questioning of belonging, and with that closing line... something like the imbalances and juxtapositions within ourselves? One side of us able to thrive in the cold, the other hoping to move on but never feeling at home or permanent anywhere.

    Made me think of so many transitory things. The months, the seasons, cycles of our lives. So happy you wrote for this contest!!

    • 1 year ago

      by Star

      Awww thank you for the vote, and if you say that I actually gave your poem the highest vote too lol.
      And the persevere part makes so much more sense when adding through.
      You actually got absolutely right, that was exactly what I was going for, with the coldness the clouds and December. My birthday is also in December which tied perfectly with what I was going for.

      Thank you so much always ^_^

  • 1 year ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Star,

    I know poetry is a subjective art form and, in this case, the reader (me) feels that this is about mourning. Having lost people close to me over the years, it is like they are still with me; the grief is part of me and somehow, I embrace that for fear of losing them altogether. The way you end your poem was so sad for me, for it suggests that being 'just me' is preferable than the grief.

    Thanks for sharing this - it was among many fabulous entries.

    • 1 year ago

      by Star

      I love to see people perspective on what I write, this is one of the reasons I enjoy sharing :)
      Thank you so much Mr Darcy!

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