Grief is a mind with no plan, a soul that can only wander.
The first drop of rain that falls in the spring and lands on the skin that winter has dried.
It’s picking the dandelion and watching the breeze carry away the seeds.
That same gentle breeze that rolls through the window during the last day of summer, welcoming the beginning of fall.
Greens turning into reds, orange, and browns.
Trees letting go of the leaves they’ve held onto as long as they possibly could.
The weight finally taking over.
Not for their lack of trying.
Grief is dipping your foot into freezing water.
While trying to breathe through the shock when you dive in headfirst.
Submerging thoughts and feelings.
While your body fights to stay afloat
But your lungs give out and you sink…
Sink until you’ve hit rock bottom.
Grief is seeing the sun shine through the clouds.
Realizing that you can’t remember the last time you’ve felt warmth.
Tears fall and you feel guilt.
Guilt for feeling, guilt for living
You can’t fight it anymore; you can’t fight the healing.
Healing is allowing yourself to be numb.
So, you can appreciate what it means to feel.
Healing is hitting rock bottom.
So, you have nowhere to go but up.
Healing is letting yourself feel guilt.
Finally letting yourself be honest
Because grief is so painful.
And healing well, it takes strength.
