Men don't cry

by safachan   Apr 15, 2023


My father once told me“ men don’t cry!”
He looked me dead in the eyes and said,” as a guy! ”
Life treats you different, as if feelings aren’t a part of who you are
The same scale that weighs your worthiness will never allow you to go that far
Far from social norms and the expectations that crush your soul
The same notion that defines hope, drills in you a gaping hole
Men don’t cry, but that doesn’t mean they don’t hurt inside
The way, we have to be strong and consistent to not be cast aside
You see, life is harsher on us men who feel too much inside
As if god somehow felt the need to make it harder for us to hide
But dad never cried, never shed a tear even in his darkest times
He always laughed and smiled, even when he forgot his lines
Even when he was gasping and flying away, he looked somehow serene
The same man who taught me what does it to be strong mean
The day he was no longer, I understood what he really meant
Everyone looked at my brother and expected him to never bend
To not be weak and to carry on the legacy
To not shed a tear and resign himself to his wretched destiny
The same child, who came to this world wailing
The soul I swore to protect, but, God! Am I failing?
I took him by the hand and looked at the depth of his soul
Cry dammit! Don’t let them over your soul have control
Don’t let them sharpen your edges and mold you the way they want
Don’t sell away your heart and live the rest of your life weary and spent
I promise, I'll make you a world if they don’t let you in
A place for you to live and never have to shed your skin
I vow to you, I'll be your safe space to come back to
So let yourself go and ignore the evils they are trying to spew
A flicker of hope shone in the crystals that looked me dead in the eye
A watery flow pushed from beneath, paving the way to his silent cry
You see, dad, men do cry!
They weep and wail, and they don’t even have to try
For we both feel the same wretchedness eating us from inside
The day that you passed, was the day the first man in our family cried

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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Maher

    Not at all, it's humbling to see a strong family bond in a world that's trying to divide families, so thank you for sharing this. It's a miracle that a sad event in a poem online can hold a meaning that could bring some ease to someone on the other side of the world.

    "You see, life is harsher on us men who feel too much inside
    As if god somehow felt the need to make it harder for us to hide"

    In a way I agree with what he said in those lines. It's true, society did get to a point where men were expected not to show emotion, but that's only a small reason why we hide them. As a guy I can safely say that good men in general have a desire to protect those they care about. It's a fulfilling feeling to know that you'd put your life on the line for your family and friends without hesitation. Even strangers in public if we know we can stop any harm. Part of that protection of others is to not be too emotional in hard times. People tend to react pretty badly around fear, so we try to stay as "emotionless" as possible so that the people we care about around us feel safe. It's not always the best thing to do, but it's an instinct. kind of like how a mother will always protect her child and put on a happy face even if death is hovering over her. Men do the same in their own way, not because we're expected to be made of stone, but because at the heart of it, we'd rather take the bullet ourselves and give everyone we want to protect as safe and easy a life as possible rather than have them feel any despair.

    But yes, when we're alone we let it out sometimes, for the same reason. We don't want who we care about to see that we also hurt, not out of pride or wanting to be tough, but out of compassion so that they don't shoulder any of that burden. This is why men and women complement each other. Just like you complement your brother. Hopefully I wasn't out of line in discussing this, but those 2 lines meant a lot when I read them.

    • 1 year ago

      by safachan

      I was overwhelmed with your reply, in a good way, so let me reply to you with the same amount of sincerity, as you have shown.

      I might not know what love is, but the feelings that I have for my family might be the rawest type of affection that I have ever felt, honestly. Don't get me wrong, we fight, we kick, we quarrel, and we rip the roof off, like any other family does, but nothing could ever shake the bond that we have managed to build throughout the years, so yeah, I am grateful, but that came with a lot of compromise, good intentions and willingness to make a change, and I am sure everyone could do the same, one way or another.

      "You see, life is harsher on us men who feel too much inside
      As if god somehow felt the need to make it harder for us to hide"

      Although I 1000% agree with what you are saying, the reason why i chose to focus on feelings was in no way neglecting or dissociating the other parts and arguments that came along with it.
      Think of it as just the tip of the iceberg, nothing more than that. Society has rooted in all of us twisted sets of norms and expectations, that might work for some dynamics and characters, but that doesn't mean it's healthy.
      Also, I salute you on your stance of protection, and the drive with which you choose to be for those you love, it's a choice that you have made, that might be your calling, and I hope it's working out for you well. I guess as an empath myself I lived my life and those of others, reluctantly sometimes, so I am that person that cries and fights at the same time, in most cases XD It took me a while to acknowledge my feelings and how to not care how others perceive it, and my brother, more than blood, shares that trait with me hhhhh genetics !
      The alone part of venting kinda rips at my heart, I've been there, and i've done that, and most times, it might work for certain people, and for me at certain times, but, I kinda wanted to balance out his feelings in a way that he knows he will not be alone, should he not want to, and that displaying his feelings does not make any less of a man of him.
      But yes, men and women are complimentary in a sense that they come together as one physically and emotionally. The luckiest of all are those who have established a healthy, balanced exchange of endearment and strength, but yup.
      You also have a good sister, and I wish you both all the best.

  • 1 year ago

    by Maher

    There are many things here that I could comment on, but I'll stick to the most important one: you are a good sister. This is how my sister is with me and it's what a brother needs. Stay that way for him :)

    • 1 year ago

      by safachan

      Omg you have made me cry ???? . I am genuinely thankful and humbled by your comment. The goal at the end of the day is to be the pillar that grounds him, and you can bet I'll plant my roots so deep no wind can rip it.
      ps: feel free to comment whatever you wish. I'd be be grateful to all feedback and discussions.

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