I Can't Even

There's something
in the finality of it
that makes me want
to be final too,
the overwhelming loniliness
is a weight I cant hold,
it's all consuming
and vindictive.

Irrational and intrusive
voices whisper sickly
mantras, polluting my sprit
as this pain fills my bones
and I wish for eternal night.

All that I am,
all that I could be,
feels lost and isolated,
it isn't fair.