Can we talk about how you made the unsaid, said?
You, who is so eager, wanting the best for me,
encouraging me to try this and that,
"you are capable of anything - you can do it all".
But I feel I can't.
So it's my feelings against the world.
Against the reality that I know I can do so much more,
because I have.
Because I've conquered the shadows countless times.
Can we talk about flying too close to the sun?
And by flying, I mean hovering,
feeling the heat of desire yet being afraid of its range?
Can we talk about how little you know of me now?
We visit throughout the week and I feel I must protect you,
from my doubts, from my depression,
while also protecting myself from being misunderstood,
from being the source of hysteria,
of "but you have so much potential, how did it get to this point?".
I'm confused again.
Trying my best to function,
while simultaneously trying to hide,
until I know how to handle the deepest parts of me.
