I have dreams where I’m falling
most don’t ever hit the ground
but I’ve heard that cracking
that terrible gut wrenching sound
everything inside me breaks
a relief washes over my soul
the scars no longer stand out
broken completely yet completely whole
the pain is no longer a prison
crippling my feathered wings
letting go of that darkness
that this reality brings
the tears can flow freely
emotions no longer need to hide
no burdens to shoulder
of times when I’ve carried your lies
your shade will never again block
my precious rays of light
my breathing no longer shallow
I can finally give up the fight
so tired of remaining strong
my foundation is cracking
this inner peace, is something
I’ve desperately been lacking
step away from the husk of rage
discard the happy mask
let the temperament take over
free to be myself, at long last
the scars don’t matter anymore
all those coping skills wasted
nothing compares to this freedom
that I’ve finally tasted
the empty void that lived in me
doesn’t even scratch my brain
let all the labels roll off of me
they won’t ever again make me insane
no thoughts of revenge,
I’m above your pettiness,
my spine isn’t in question
here you won’t turn me into a mess
you don’t have that power
you no longer have control
I can take back every piece of me
that over all these years, you stole
my restless body stirs
but I refuse to return
I can’t go back to that reality
not after everything I’ve began to learn
suddenly pulled back to the living
the depression beats me down
put the mask back on,
got to cover up this frown
pull myself together
time once again for the show
put the pen to paper,
hoping now you will know
as I conceal every part of me
keeping every emotion inside,
please understand when I say the best dreams,
I’ve ever had, are the ones where I’ve died...
