it’s 5:30am here and i have not slept: i have some things i want to tell you but i can’t send you a text saying “i’ve always cried about you in the shower,” because what if you don’t understand how sacred that is. anyway, here it is…
1. i remember how overwhelming loving you was, as i still haven’t stopped - at least not fully and i don’t know if i ever will
2. you showed me the parts of your heart you were afraid of, and i told you i still loved every piece
3. you touched me so softly that it stung with the hands of everyone before you
4. your love makes me insane and i dont know how else to explain it to you. it’s desperate and intentional and it has feral gnashing teeth
5. it’s ferocious and it breathes on it’s own and it it’s vicious and you said 'i love you more' but you can’t. you can’t.
6. i write about impossible things like melting stars into a warm homemade dinner and starting over and growing old with you. i write about impossible worlds where no one ever ever hurt me and i am able to love you right
7. i want to plant a kiss on every tear that runs down your face until you have a garden full of love on it
8. when you finally decided you’d outgrown me, you left without so much as a word. and in your place was a you-sized excavation, the only thing left of you for me to remember you by
9. there was something young and beautiful once, it used to live in this body with me
10. please, stay for the story i tell you of who i was, who i could have been, who i might become
11. i am more than this. i was so much more. love me still. love me still. love me still, please
