you’ve been working on me
ever since I can remember
trying to rewire my brain
from such an early age
to make me hate myself
and make me feel insignificant
like I will always be less
for no one to love or accept,
for the longest time it worked
I believed everything you taught me
that I would be better off dead
several times I tried
and failed
there you were to rub my face in it
always a failure
to become nothing more
I didn’t think I could feel
like any less then a human being
then I did then,
but I was wrong
as I continued to get older
the feelings became numb
somehow that was worse
my brain caught in constant battle
of how I should just end my life
but yet wanting to prove you wrong
never considered myself resilient
just very unlucky
surviving day after day
a waste of space you said
would never amount to anything
so as I took up precious space
I began to work on myself
always behind my fifty foot wall
never showing you any change
but it was there,
underneath
I found out just how broken I was
but instead of crumbling
I filled in the cracks with something stronger
my broken pieces making a mosaic masterpiece
let the past trauma make me tougher
your digs are no longer daggers
now they just show your character
revealing more of you then of me
ways you used to control me
those ties have been severed
it falls on deaf ears
I’ve learned brand new coding
and I’ve hacked the motherboard
as I start to rise
just know,
you won’t receive recognition,
not a thank you,
no, you won’t even be recognized
you will be nothing,
because you didn’t build this in me
I did that,
that will be the nail in your coffin
now you are dead to me
and maybe you’ll finally realize
you’ve lost...
