Don't ask me [to be strong]

The sadness creeps in,
unsuspected, unwanted,
causing my body to react
uncontrollably -
the slightest of trembling,
shoulders sinking like an anchor,
limbs wanting to crawl
somewhere that can hold
the weight of loneliness.

It ebbs and flows
without my consent,
no matter how often I reframe
or try to redirect my thoughts.
It feels like everything
has finally caught up,
the years of stress and tension
I tried too often to numb.

I feel unable to face any of it,
even in small amounts.

I feel too weak to make it through.

I wish someone could be strong for me.