I learned the hard way that what I'd miss the most
Are the things that I stopped to hear, not see.
And to hear your voice cover my ears
With a calming wave before I fell asleep would be enough to me right now.
The air missing from my lungs is the sound of your laugh.
The beat that my heart can't seem to find hides behind your goodnight.
And now awake through each night I find myself yearning.
Running out of breath, fearing I am going to asphyxiate.
Close my eyes just to see you,
Open my eyes to check my phone.
Close my eyes again hoping the image of you would fade.
But it does not.
I open my eyes again, my phone still in my hand.
I start to type.
"I love you."
I press backspace and erase it.
I start again .
"I really do love you."
I erase it again.
I type once more.
"I love you so much."
I think and keep typing.
"I love you so much more than words can say, and if you'd let me be honest I need you. I cannot breathe without you. My heart cannot beat."
I erase everything.
I close my eyes, picture you.
I open my eyes, check my phone.
"Goodnight", I type and press send.
"Goodnight" you respond in less than three seconds.
And my insomnia gets worse.
My heart keeps torturing me with restless beats, and I ache for a moment of silence.
I ache for the sound of your voice.
The time is 6:32am as I am writing this.
And the weight on my chest can't seem to get lighter.
