Complex.

I wish there wasn't this
confusion
bubbling from my lungs.

I wish the panic
didn't come back
tenfold,
as I try to grasp
onto something solid,
hands clutching throat,
forcing myself to

~ breathe ~

I wish I could know
if I wanted life
or not,
so I could commit
instead of this
useless wandering.

I don't want anyone
to sink with me.
I want to keep them
safe from hopelessness.

I wish I could know
more than you offered.

I wish I wasn't
turned away
at the mention
of certain trauma.

I wish you had
made it clearer,
why you left.

Was I too much?

Will I be
too much
for everyone?