i hate that i love you

i love you so much that i hate it
i hate how you don’t care
i hate how you only want me for sex
i hate how you’re using me
i hate that you don’t love me back
i hate that you make me cry
i hate that you don’t have even an hour for me
i hate how you don’t want to see me if its not for sex
i hate how busy you are
i hate that i don’t know anything about you
i hate how we aren’t meant to be
i hate how you cant even imagine a relationship with me
i hate how i’m choking on my own tears right now
i hate that i cant even see the keyboard because of my own tears
i hate how you caused these tears
i hate how pathetic i can become because of you
i hate how i love you more than myself
i hate myself for loving you
i hate how i can throw everything away for you
i hate that i’m ready to take a bullet for you
i hate how you wouldn’t do the same
i hate how you don’t feel the same
i hate how i’m ready to die just so you could care even a little bit, for a little bit
i hate that you leave me on delivered for hours straight and blame it on being exhausted
i hate how i’m exhausted but can still cross 9 mountains for you
i hate that you would never do the same for me
i hate that you are my first love
i hate how i will never be your love
i hate how you lie to me
i hate everything
i hate you
but i don’t
i want to hate you
but i can’t
i could never hate you
i could never not love you