Hey, wanted to say welcome to the site, and hope you post more. I really felt this piece. There are few words to describe how confusing and soul-crushing it is to feel the onset of depression... and feel like you can't stop it. Even when we have what we need, when we feel stable, when we have a support system, and it just comes on uninvited. I related to this line the most: "The past doesn't seem so far away and the uncertainty of the future consumes me completely." Struggling with that at the moment and there were some raw verses here. Especially with that visceral last line about how even writing makes you nauseous. Thank you for sharing this, all the best to you.