Please see me (through the cracks)

If I crack,
If I falter for a second,
they'll see.

And they'll swoop in
like vultures,
under the guise of
caring.

When really,
it's pity.

It's "hey, look at this
fragile, mentally ill person
who doesn't even feel safe
enough to drive home".

So I can't break away
from reality for that long.

I have to control it.

I have to mask.

I have to hide my blank stares
and confusion until I'm alone.

I have to protect myself.

But you know I don't
really "have to" do any of that.

And I let it slip.
I can't believe I let it slip.

Then I tried to cover my tracks,
say "it's not your business".

But you reminded me it was.

I felt threatened.

I told you to leave me alone.

When all I wanted was for you to stay...