That's the thing about depression
it keeps coming back.
It leaves, finally it leaves, slowly it pry's itself away, little by little, day by day, after an eternity of being there, there's a shift and it moves. It finds it motion and gains some momentum and it crawls, albeit slowly, it crawls away, becoming smaller and smaller until you can no longer see it.
And when it's gone you cannot trust it's absence. You stare anxiously at the space where it use to be and you are too petrified to take your eyes away from it but of course you have to blink, life snatches your attention with its other demands and over time you look at the space where it use to be less and less. It's not that you've forgotten it but life does indeed go on and you have living to do, so you live.
Weeks, months maybe even years go by and you stop looking at where it use to be. That's why you don't notice it returning. You don't see it, that small speck of sadness on the horizon. You do not notice that speck gradually getting bigger as it moves closer and becomes more imposing.
Then one day you gilted awake by its knock. One day the alarm is going off and you can't get out of bed even though you are on the verge of wetting yourself because depression is in bed with you and you're caught up in a knot with your bedsheets and your sadness and you think F**k.....
