Prison

Despite I am so called free I still feel in prison beyond my reason my mind and body still feel trapped the more I scream the more I want to wake up I cannot for I am awake
My heart so heavy every day I try to alleviate this, but tears do not fall I kiss my wrists with a blade and the pain does not flow
I walk everyday with my stare fixed to the ground afraid to look into eyes for they will see all my pain such a way of living life always thinking of the past of what could have been
I cry out to God but even to him my prayers go unanswered I do not know what to do anymore my heart feels like it will collapse under so much pain and yet I cannot seem to be able to help him
You tell me who knows me more what am I supposed ot do if I do not or cannot see the way out how can I be free if my mind is still in prison how can I escape this if every day I feel more miserable I turn to you, and you are silent don’t know what to say have I grown that cold?
I thought It would be different once freed but reality is something much worse I can never escape my past I drift in its endless seas dreaming dreams that will never come true to you I turn and yet I walk away to a place where I am sorry is not enough to a place where I am set a drift to be forgotten what words can I say what more can I do to escape this prison to show you that I am not me I have drifted away with the past
It has been several years since my heart felt alive when I thought we could not be apart, and that faithful day still lives in me that day when it all died
Can you see? That all I do is in vain how to explain that the pain will not flow away a constant reminder of what could have been as the days go on I seek to end it all and finally find my peace maybe then I will finally be able to breath to you I speak how I miss you…….