Holding onto the love

Love is something I’ve always had trouble letting go of;
Staying too long in relationships that should’ve ended or-
Never getting rid of things that reminded me of heartfelt memories,
I feel everything so damn deeply.
I feel your loss, so damn deeply.
Your winter coat is still hanging in my closet but I started avoiding touching it-
It reminds me of my favorite times with you but they hurt.
Every time I look at your lighthouse painting I remember the day you put it up;
How excited you were when you showed me how the theatre lights shined on it,
Your face was just as bright.
And I’ve been wanting to put together that supernatural car model that you bought for me but never put together-
You never got the chance because
You got too sick before you could do so,
But I don’t know how and-
I remember how happy you were when you found
a hobby you enjoyed doing from home-
and how upset you were when your hands shook too much for you to do them anymore.
And see here’s the thing about grief-
It’s always there but sometimes it hits in insurmountable waves.
Nearly drowning some of its victims in the wake.
And people think that grief is holding onto the loss of someone but-
It’s not.
I’m not holding onto the loss of you-
Even though it hurts oh so much.
No. No.
I’m holding onto the love;
Something I’ve always had trouble letting go of.
And that’s precisely why it will never go away.