Mama, I Thought of You today

3-28-2024

I reached for the phone today
Pulled up your number to call
I almost hit that dial button
Then my heart it began to fall

I made something today
My first thought was of you
I know you loved this stuff
And I wanted to share it with you.

It was simple, It really was
A new food on the menu
But it had everything you loved
I wanted to bring it home for you.

Then it’s like time had froze
I looked up and it dawned on me
You are not here anymore
I cant see you when I go home at three.

Your number is still in my favorites
The one at the top of the list
The first number I dial
The one that no longer exists.

My heart began to cry
I started to whimper your name
Mama I f*-king miss you
Without you here is not the same.

Just over a month it’s been
I have not had time to grieve
Your memorial was just 5 days ago
Oh God, I still can’t believe.

I broke down just now
Over one simple little food
I lost many tears here
Just a switch in my mood.

Why does it work that way
Is this how the grievance stage goes
I was holding it together just fine
But not as well I suppose.

Maybe days will get easier
Maybe they actually will not
But I’m sitting here missing you
You will never be forgot.

Mama I thought of you today
I really wish I could have called
My heart is hurting today
My body hurts from when I bawled.

Mama I thought of you today
But that is nothing new
You are forever in my thoughts
Until the day I get to see you.

I love you mama
Your number will still be in my phone
Not sure I will ever delete it
As you were the best mother I have known.

??- I love you mom -??