by Kiko
This is a strong senryu. If you were to dispense with the out-of-date 5-7-5 formula, it could be made a little stronger: |
by Gem
I had no idea the formula had changed haha. When did that happen and what's the new one? :D |
by Kiko
There are entire books on how to write haiku and senryu. It is a wonderful art form. Counting syllables 5-7-5 is an oversimplification that has gradually diminished over time. |