Beauty and the beast-
Except I was the beast.
Shredding every ounce of dignity I had to tear myself out of the relationship that turned me into one;
I was scared and angry and hurt.
Kind to you but stubborn and nearly vile with everyone else-
You have the gentleness and compassion of belle that’s been turning me back into a soft human being.
I’ve been through every phase of self sabotage and pettiness a person could possibly ever go through in the last four years;
I watched my dad slowly die for two years until he withered away to nothing while the man I slept next to every night screamed vile things at me-
I drowned myself in alcohol while he blamed me for being sexually assaulted.
That’s the kind of experience that turns someone into a monster.
And boy;
Was I ever.
I brought a whole new level of self destruction to myself and those around me-
I took most of the damage from myself and everyone else and unintentionally INtentionally gave it back.
I thought I was protecting myself as I slammed doors and smashed things;
But the only thing I was smashing was my own god damned dignity.
I’m lucky enough that you are the most gracious person I’ve ever met.
The touch of your heart is gentle and kind;
With enough fire to light the pathway back to the me that I lost over the last several years.
I’ll forever be thankful for you.
I’ll forever work tirelessly to make sure I stay a woman worthy of the love that you give to me.
Real life fairytale-
But without the rose colored glasses and with real life issues because darling;
Beauty and the beast.
Except I was the beast when we met and you’re the one who loved me back into a decent human being.
You don’t even know the half of it.
