The lanes all draw to the same end,
we know how paths work,
I know how lives turn out to be.
But I'm agonised by my night
being stolen away from me.
The silly stars play games
and I'm too weak to understand anything.
I need water to survive.
My rock and my queen aren't real;
I know it can't be.
I know my heart will never be at peace
until it marries him.
But what if --
the dark night seeks light.
The trauma was forgotten for a moment.
The body felt no pain for an infinity.
But this isn't real;
this is fantasy.
Why do you do this to me?
All paths lead to darkness.
Only the path to enlightenment is real.
I told you I want to move in with you,
then why did you do this to me?
My figures are all disorientated,
you know I sought blood,
you know the lakes are all dry.
Is this your way of taking me to him?
But I know this is not the way.
What are these games?
So you drown me first,
pull me out just in time to save me.
Was it to strengthen me:
to be unafraid of death
or instill so much fear that I strengthen from within?
And then give me a dream,
marry me to it,
bring forth all suppressed memories,
traumatize me again,
numb me down within
in an attempt to conquer demons,
and then put in front of me softness again?
Why the scent again? Was blood not enough?
Why?
The full circle was never a semi-circle;
this is a pathway full of lies and hurt.
