as much as i want her to
my body will not lie
there is a pain i cannot shake out
no matter how much i bully myself
i spent a long time believing
that if i wanted it badly enough
i could be scar-free
if i stood tall for long enough
i could intimidate my pain
into walking away
but my soul wouldn't rest
until i admitted i was wrong
i've been trying to rinse these
stories out of my eyes
for a long time
to wrestle myself out
from under this dense and dripping sadness
the truth is
when the war ended
i had no home to go back to
my life was a strange and sinister place
that i had never been before
