I was running away
from wines and drugs,
and ran right into you,
unaware where we were going
crashing into your lips
like waves that can never be spared
from their turbulent fate.
Look down at your calloused hands,
darling, they've lifted the weight off me.
I wonder if you felt everything I did
the moment you touched me.
My friends say, 'it was just your hand, sweetie,'
but they don't know what is passion and what is toxic.
Wanting to be sober,
I consumed the worst drug.
Gitanjay, what are you made up of?
So go on now, take me high,
like that time when I was most alive.
I don't know what to smell like
except the scents you left on me
still haunting me at the back of my mind.
I'm chasing you in all these candid poems,
swirling you into lines,
I'm snorting you up even in my dreams.
I was a darling princess, the most exquisite,
and now I'm cotton candy,
do you know you could rip me apart?
But I want to be ripped and spared at the same time.
I was full of dreams and poisons,
but for you, I'm delicate once again.
Hard drugs, you said, were never your friends,
and here you've gotten me high and complacent.
Now i go on real long drives
make out with you at the back of my mind,
I'm losing myself,
praying I don't fall off the cliff.
I don't want a hurricane of you
to absorb me.
You touched me once,
your mistake;
but you touched me again,
and that time it was on me.
I'm addicted.
I'm wasting time,
losing my mind,
snorting lines,
hoping to find
even the little high
that I got when I was with you.
I'm miles away,
and my dealer is lost in the city
I sinned in.
I'm out of base,
out with grace.
Find me again,
I don't want to be with you.
Oh darling, I so want to be with you.
How do I tell this to you?
