Forsaken dreams,
I watched them with you.
You kissed me once
and I'd lived a hundred lives anew.
If the ocean bed near my home had signs,
you'd see they've been commanded to part where you stand,
you don't know where I come from,
but I'm the nymph of a foreign land.
You walked in once,
from where I know not,
sweet-hearted, sugar-syruped,
you held my hand and that was more than enough,
to walk me out of my dreams and step onto burning charcoals
I had for long avoided.
The long queue of boys who tried real hard to get me,
they just didn't have that something i wanted.
And then one night, completely hopeless, I met you
and we lost track of time like we were young school teens,
and it felt spectacularly magically crazy
how free you made me feel.
Look down at your calloused hands,
darling, they've lifted the weight off me.
I wonder if you felt everything I did
the moment you touched me.
When our lips touched, did you feel me heal within?
Did you feel the cold thaw underneath my skin
when we got lost in our heavenly kiss?
Because all the boys and their expensive cars
with their Mercedes, BMWs and their Jaguars
never took me quite where you did.
Running away from getting high,
I consumed the worst drug.
Gitanjay, what are you made up of?
I don't know what to smell like
except the scents you left on me
still haunting me at the back of my mind.
I'm chasing you in all these candid poems,
swirling you into lines,
and snorting them up to get high.
Is it all right I'm writing all this?
That I've slipped you between everything in secrecy,
all very delicately,
between letters and dreams like ecstasy,
exclusively for me to smoke up and drink,
as I think
if there are other girls who want to touch you
like I want to?
Tell me you'll remember all of it like sweet coke from your dreams,
one of your prettiest core memories,
as you watch me from wherever you are and think:
oh my god, that is she,
and she's insane, she wrote everything on me!
my girl friend sees me
swinging on highs between you and archie
and she dislikes you i can tell,
i'm forbidden to contact you,
but this is nightmarishly heavenly hell!
she doesn't know what you and i were,
she doesn't know of the secret love songs that transpired
between two souls lost in the sea
at least that is what it felt like to me.
you touched me once and it aided my heart,
did you feel me heal underneath your skin?
