The cold shivered autumn
and her falling leaves,
could not come soon enough.
I had a dream about you,
but your dead universe swayed away from me
and expands with thunder in my heart.
The sun in my summer
does not warm this winter soul
or take away these memories
that tear me apart.
All the things I want
along with these wonderful
and terrible dreams ahead of me
won't wait on me anymore,
and neither will you.
I've dreamt of you for over a decade,
and I was no closer to letting you go.
I dodged and weaved
through the loneliness.
I've become your
impenetrable rock in this ocean
just to breathe in the sadness
through the endless nights of dying inside.
I did everything right, I stood by your side.
I stretched myself thin and now,
I saw you leave both here and in this
heartbreaking dream without ever saying goodbye.
Here I am
picking up the pieces again
walking in a circle of what seems like forever
scratching your name in my heart
convincing myself, it's okay to break
every rule and promise I made
to move on and forget.
I have done this over and over again
until I wake up and believe
she was always made for me
and I finally became the
version she wanted me to be,
even when all I have
are fading memories
like water running down
My cold and tired hands.
I don't think I know
I am damaged stuck in this wasteland,
surrounded by the dead trees of
all the sorrows and regrets that keep
myself up at night.
I stood there for decades
as everything around me
starts to wither and die,
not really knowing
what it means to say goodbye
or if I already said goodbye at all.
I will arrive at death with nothing but love.
Just a scratched heart with a faded name
that you can't make out,
but I will smile like no other
because a damaged libra knows
exactly who's this undying love of a heart is for,
even when I don't remember
what color her eyes are anymore.
--How could I ever say goodbye to you, my Silver.
.
