Secret letters

I ask myself:
What am I to you?
What is this going on with us?
I sought lots of things
before I got you -
God, blood, wine, drugs, ghosts,
name it and I tried to find it.
And then I met someone,
angel-like taking me back to my memories
but rewriting everything beautifully.
Until he turned out to be
just a dream I was seeing
which wasn't true.
And so I sought help
to only find you:

Now I talk to you
in these secret letters I'm writing.
I dare not present these things to thee:
kiss me until all my pain recedes,
touch me like there was never a yesterday I knew,
breathe me in like I'm the only air you need,
camouflage yourself in all of my colours and hues.
I can see what we can be:
your desire ignites a fire within
and I don't want us to go all the way through
with anyone at all, it's nothing to do with you.