I’m happy
And I’m terrified
Like it’s something as fragile as a sweater
Innocently pulling one string
And causing the whole thing to unravel
I sit here in anticipation
Waiting for the universe
To create the pull in the fabric
That will become the unraveling string
That is the end of everything
I know I should be present in the moment
And enjoy my happiness as it happens
Because I know how fleeting it is
And how everything can change
In just one moment
I’m so happy sometimes
I’m overflowing hot liquid love
In the crucible of my heart
That was not fashioned to hold so much
I am in love with my life
Even on the bad days
There are glimmers of light
That reside in the brown eyes of a little boy
And the laughter of the woman I love
I’m afraid to experience this love
Terrified to nuzzle into it
And wrap its arms around me
Because I’m afraid that at the very moment
I exhale in relief
Giving way to all the good around me
It will be snatched out of mid air
Like a fly to a frog’s tongue
And this love I experienced
Will become a mere sensory memory
When I smell a certain scent
That creates a longing in my chest
That I know will never be filled again
