I like the format but not the message, especially from you who have always been a source of strength around here.

"I’ll be okay. I just need to sort out my emotions and focus on my goal."
I am glad that in the end regardless of your denial you admitted there was a problem. My hope is healthwise you are okay because spiritually, I am confident, you are a fighter and resilient.
Anyway, in our last conversation under my poem, you mentioned some interesting topics about time and ice cream, which I did not address because in my experience eating and pleasure contradict spiritual elation if they happen simultaneously. Like in the experience of getting high, food, especially sweets and ice cream tastes times more enjoyable but indulging in that, you never get the "vision", the sublimity, at least not as powerful. But after the vision of leaves and ice cream, you inspired me to write a poem, I hope you do not mind. I haven't written it yet or even started it.
I am not sure if you adapted the idea of time being an illusion from reading my poems, or else but you are on the right track. Playing with the concept of time is more powerful poetically than philosophically. If you stand in front of the right doors they might open to you allowing you to see some of the marvells in the world.
To me, poetry in the most is sharing those visions, this is why my works may not begetatable to the most. Also unfortunately writing your visions, as (Don John) mentioned, stops you from exploring farther into the unknown and brings you back to the earth. ( by earth I mean this reality).
I think your poetry is thriving. Some of them are so short and might look not fancy enough, but they have all or at least most: a "twist". You are now becoming a seer, and earning your right to sit on that bench.

I know, if you do not read these right you might trace some egotistical tendencies in them, as you sometimes do, but for me, it was worth the risk.