You never know

I've been wandering around this plane
It seems to exist in two meaningful places
Both are in a dream-like state

The first I find myself in turmoil
where everyone knows my reality
And they sigh for me
They cry for me
They know I put on the brave face
And still break down in tears
But I cannot see either of you
You don't seem to be present
I look for you but I feel like I am grasping at straws to find you

The second I find myself in turmoil
where I know my reality
But I am dreaming
I see you and you see me
You talk to me, both of you
You present in different ways
The intimacy with the lover
wraps me in your arms and doesn't speak
The friendship with my inner circle person
wraps me in your arms and cries
The first person only sees me
The second sees everyone and wants to fight to protect me

So what do I do with these realities
I do not know how to move forward

But I pray for a different reality
One where I get to call the shots
Or where I can have a second chance
At being with the two of you

I pray for a time machine to take me to a time
when I could just watch from a far
and take one of you with me to meet the other
Where you can meet each other
Where I can spend even just one more day
With each of you

That would never be enough
I will always want more

But I would give anything
Just to have that last late night phone call
With both of you