Ashes

Each time it happens
And it happens a lot
I'll push it down and
Pretend I'm unbothered

"I have boundaries"
"I'm healed enough for this"

And I'll go about my day
Coming up with every
little excuse to
have something to do

Scrub the dishes a little longer
Wipe the spots off of my mirror
Maybe I'll make some fancy dinner

Only to find myself
On the kitchen floor
Knees to chest
No sound, just
breathless air

And I cry
And I cry
And I cry

I cry out the anger
I cry out the pain
I cry out the memories
That resurfaced again

Foolishly waiting
To be warmed
By the same fire
That burned me to ashes