Rode the bus that night,
Only a ticket in my hand.
Hid my fingers and belly in my jacket
from the coldest ride I ever had.
Inside, the polaroid pressed against my ring finger.
Echoing slow, soft tapping friction,
As I lightly shifted it between my fingers.
Just like how he tapped onto my seclusion.
I arrived at dawn, in a place unknown.
I was a stranger in this Carmen town.
I told no one where I'm headed.
Such a perfect escape from everyone.
From the station, to the plaza,
To the streets of the bustling market.
I continued taking aimless steps.
Until I found help from the church.
Where father, guided this lost ewe of the herd.
To his friend, Josie gave me what I needed.
Josie gave the job I never imagined to have.
So I could live to the end of my life.
From echoes of keyboard clicking,
phone talking, paper shredding
to serving strangers' craving,
then leftover scrapping
I was getting used to these living
and so with the life within.
At night, thoughts sometimes yonder,
along the streets of Carmen.
If I leave somehow, who would stay
for the one who will be left someday?
I always pray on that biggest fear,
But one day, I stumbled upon someone who will.
He was a stereotype for a smart teen
but he was utterly oblivious around him.
He was still holding on to the glass rim,
eyes on the ring, still contemplating.
Ms. Josie, reminded the closing time.
No one was around, so I had to step down.
The lad, snapped from his rumination,
then went home, carrying the weight of rejection.
He came back, sat on the same spot,
getting the same shot,
But this time, he shared his break up.
so he avoided getting drunk.
Day after day, he'd return to show and tell,
Who was the real and sober Gabriel.
From that I realize he isn't a teen after all,
unless I compare it to my age right now.
He dared ease two of my growing pain.
I, in return, direct his path of changing lanes.
Both of us adored that feeling,
Of being forthright, safe unmasking.
We kept ourself blinded by enlightened life,
Despite the fact that the days I have kept shortening.
I let myself loose for too long to this feeling.
While he just let me feel this kind of vice.
Dreading wasn't in my bucket list.
I knew from the start, so I didn't expect much
except now I do and I couldn't stop.
Now I regret leaving him only half of myself.
His promise of assurance kept me company,
Until the day I give life to another.
Among anything she would trust, it was his face
He loved her toothless smile as if it was his first.
He boasted her to them like she was his.
His tears cradled on her chubby cheeks.
Tiny chuckles sounded as her tiny fingers
reached for the warm big hands of Gabriel.
Those 9 months was definitely worthy.
As my mind and eyes descend to its end,
I heard him announce to them.
she'll be called Carmen with his last name.
