I try to make friends but they quickly get bored of me
I help them with anything and I'm quickly thrown away.
I feel disposable, used, hated.
I know I am the burden for when I cry and I'm frowned upon.
They say to smile. . How can u smile when existence hurts and loneliness takes over.
Am I trying to hard or am I trying to little?
I try to message them and I feel like I'm bothering them.
I'm fast and happy to reply to them.
Now I can't truly tell them how I feel. .
I have to hide it.
It's to scary and ugly for them to know.
How much pain I go through everyday
How no one speaks to me and or listens to me.
Even when they do listen they quickly change the topic upon to them selves.
No one.
I wish I could find a beautiful river with beautiful birds like to sing in the background. . Just to feel the water rushing past my feet with somewhere comfortable to sit and lay. . Watching the clouds go by. Lots of shade Not being able to care or feel pain anymore.
Have nice nice crackers, assorted fine cheeses, meat and wine.
And just sit there and not care about the time.
Talk about anything and everything that comes to mind.
