Just one more cut

One more cut wont hurt me any more
I repeated this lie in my head
My soul felt so used, so tired and sore
But I believed that lie, no idea where it would have led

So I repeated “one more time wont hurt” and pressed the razor hard to my skin
My eyes closed as I dragged it across my arm
It felt as if someone pushed in a long pin
But remember, one more cut wouldn’t cause anymore harm

The razor dropped from my hand as I leaned back against the wall
I shut my eyes even tighter as I felt something wet through my shirt
I saw all the blood and tried to stand but fell
Shouldn’t I have felt this, shouldn’t it have hurt

My head felt dizzy and I couldn’t decide what to do
The blood kept gushing, making a puddle on the floor
I had to call someone, but who
I leaned against a wall and stood up, trying to get to the door

I’m going to die locked in this room alone and cold
I fell over, fell on the door and slid down
Why couldn’t I die happy and old
I look across the room at my 8th grade graduation gown

I’ll never make it there, the dress will never be worn
I’ll never marry, never have a career
Instead I will die here in this bloody shirt that’s torn
I’ll die just like a wounded deer

My eyes feel heavy, but I fought to keep them open for a little while
Knowing that when they shut that they will never open again
I become exhausted like I just ran a mile
My mom said shed be home from the store in ten

Just wait for mom I repeated until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore
Right then I heard the kitchen door open and mom yell hi
Mom I scream but it only comes out a whisper I’m so sore
Hunny you hear me I’m home she says as I hear her pass by

Mom I plead one more time to deaf ears
My breathing slows then finally stops, as my body lays limp against the door
I've finally escaped this world of pain and tears
But couldn’t I have lived just a little more

Maybe if my mom would have heard me
Maybe if life wasn’t hell in this house I consider a hut
Maybe if someone would have noticed my plea
But I know the reason is because of that one last cut