I can’t stand my own existence.
I can’t stand being in my own families presence.
I hate to be looked at,
Even though I don’t care if I’m being judge.
I hate being pushed to the side,
People telling me I ain’t worth much.
I hate crying myself to sleep,
I hate having to push my own tears away.
I hate praying to die as I weep,
Someone to love me is all I pray.
Pulling my own hair,
Punching the walls let’s go all my frustration.
All those times they showed me they cared,
I feel like they were playing pretend.
How is it that your own child u could watch die inside,
And not once do you even look at them twice,
And all you can do is roll your eyes.
You pretend that our lives are so perfect,
That his words I can easily get over.
How can you be so selfish?
You’re the reason why I wish I were six feet under.
I wish you could hold me and tell me every thing will soon be all right.
I wish you could tell me you love me,
And you can be the one who dries my eyes.
But you’re not.
And will never be.
For you my love for a mother has stopped.
And my heart being trapped not because of you will someday be free.
God will forgive my sins one day,
He will never forgive you for walking out and making me believe all you had for me is hate.
I remember being bundled up,
Having all my life pouring out in my tears.
Wishing someday someone would give a f***!
Wishing why I understood why god sent me here.
I will still always cry until I get enough strength to take my own life,
I will never be hold and surrounded by love no matter how much I beg god to take all this strife.
I hope God your listening
I hope god you answer my prayers.
God I can’t stand my own existence,
God are you listening up there?
