this is great poem, its soo sad, u sure have a lota talent, keep writing, luv, irina

wow. i love this poem. its really toughing and shows how strong you are. i wish you the best of luck! take care

Thanks Lucifer I got it!!

Your so NUTTING mad!!
He!he!

I really enjoyed this poem. It was GR8 !!! I love your wording and expression .. it was shown well ! Gave it a 5 .. Check otu some of mien if you get the chance .. ! !

honest emotion

WOW. this a great poem. beautiful and deep. xmollyxx

"but I told you my secret dad stayed so I had to go."

I don't really understand that line it throws the poem off for me just a bit though...maybe its how you worded it i'm not sure.

Other than that I found this poem really good. It could stand for some commas in places maybe break it down into some verses. To emphatize each fraze some more. But I would give it a 4 because it was very emotional and powerful. :)

Thank you for your advice.

In reference to "but I told you my secret, Dad stayed so I had to go" Basically meaning, she had confided in her mother of whom didn't want to believe it. There for did nothing, and this girl could no longer live in the same house as her father where the abuse would continue. so she to leave.
If her mother didn't believe her or protect who would, other than herself.

I hope that answers your question.

Kind regards
Hayley

whoops! (made a mistake) meant: So she had to leave.

Following from that part straight into the next sentence, I felt was a very natural progression. Having been abuse and retreating back inside her shell for thats where she felt safe. No longer a child, she will face what life will throw at her, along with what has grived her for so many years. But alone.
Some of my wording may not make too much sense to the reader as it is increadible personal to my friend as she is this little girl. I have expressed it in the words I could only find from my heart, of how she has told me her story.

Thanks again for your comments.

Kind regards
Hayley

A touching deep, heartfelt piece. You are so gifted. God bless your heart and keep writing. Thank you for sharing your beautiful work. lol

Thank you so much Stareyes, for your kind words and encouragement.

Kind regards
Hayley

:) thats what I thought but i wasn't sure. Very good poem, and thanks for taking time out and just replying back to my question.

I don't normally like long poems, but I didnt notice this was long until i finished it. A good sign for sure, great poem.

Hayley, my friend, what a job you have done with this poem, no matter who it is written for, it is an incredible work, I wonder how many people can identify with this poem, likely more than you would be able to guess, your depth into this particular subject matter makes one think that it is you that had to endure this, so you have accomplished the main goal, to get this out into the open, and to take the focus away from your friend and put yourself in her place, the thing that makes this poem, is the emotion that is written into it, keep up the terrific writing, I always enjoy reading your works. as ever your friend harry

nice

Oh my gosh thats really good the best ive ever read it has a lot of meaning and i understnd it really well i know im just like 13 and all but wow my coments propbly mean hardly anything but thats was a really good poem i could go on forever talking about it but nothing last forever so farewell and good luck ~*Lydia*~

Another great poem from the marvolous Hayley, I think if you ever wanted to you could make this a job I am sure you would get very far and succeed in this area. Thanks for your kind words on my poems. Im now adding you to my favorites.

Sincerly,
Matt

EXCELLENT....LOVVED IT KEEP WRITING PLEASE! XXlissa

Amazing poem...55555...i feel so like that sometimes about my parents...keep up writing!! xx take care