Poisoned Heart

The cold of the metal against my skin is the only thing that’s real to me
I can remember telling you this isn’t how I want to be
I promised you that I wouldn’t break down and cut again
I wont break my promise, yet slashing is my only zen

So I sit her with the blade pressed hard against my skin
No cutting, just crying, lost in this game I cannot win
It’s so hot the tears dry on my face, I want to be free
I wish that it would rain, that is my final plea

In LA it’s always hot, yet I feel even colder
These endless lonely nights make me feel even older
I wish to dance in the rain and drown my despair
Watch as my tears and raindrops mix without a care

We wont be together, I’ve given up on you
This stupid obsession of mine I’ve decided it is through
If only it were so easy to cut away the part of my heart that I gave to you
As it is to slice my wrists, I was in love with you

I’m tired of seeing your face every time I close my eyes
I’m ready to let go, and cut all of these ties
That binds my soul to you, my heart and my mind
I’ll break the chains, and leave all this behind

I can handle this, I tell myself, over and over again
It will be better without you, I’ll be free of all my pain
Even though I will feel empty and so very alone
I will break your heart and turn mine into stone

I hate the way you made me feel better when I was down
But always I was left alone, in my feelings I start to drown
I love you, I loved you but I must say goodbye
I’m sorry if I hurt you, I don’t want to make you cry

My love, you were my everything, until I got so lost
I knew I couldn’t have you, that I must pay the cost
For loving someone I could never have, destined always to be apart
I couldn’t stand that, with you so far away, it was poisoning my heart

We can never make this work, the pain is just to great
Apart we are meant to be, together was not out fate
Darling, if I could kiss you then you might understand
I tried my very best and I took my final stand.