Dear Readers, this isn't a poem, but it's a letter. An e-mail more like it that I wrote a while back when my ex moved away to school. We had a long distant relationship, and there was a lot happening that was preparing us to break up somehow. But.. I thought it would be interesting to share it with everyone on here.. It isn't a finished email, i remember now that I had saved it in my inbox, and never sent it to him. Enjoy. Please comment or vote.
I have longed for you in so many dreams, I wished some day soon you would come and greet me with a kiss. I don’t know what more I can do, but learn on how to love you. Some how the day will come, because God had our paths to cross and the only proper way to make us real, is when that day will come where you would be holding me and I holding you. I cry the nights when I know that I am this far away. I blame myself for not being there, I try to think that it is my fault somehow that we are not what people consider to be ‘normal’. I tell myself that even if he will stop loving me someday, I will still stand still and strong, but Ryan that is a lie told to myself and I try to believe it every chance I utter it into my thoughts. I don’t think you would ever desire to leave, because well, you owe me a lot. You have to make love to me before you ever decide to let me go. In my heart I know you won’t leave, but don’t blame me when I don’t hear from you, or when my fingers dial your number and wait in hopes of you answering, blame me not, if I begin to entertain thoughts of you fleeing away from me. I understand fully about the situation you are in, letting that 40k be wasted that way, it would get any parent angry. I blame them not, and I don’t blame you for thinking and feeling that you must make that up for them; I would expect nothing less from that idea. However, I feel horrible. That money you wasted, you wasted it chatting with a girl who lived many miles away, a girl who is now in fear that maybe you might leave someday. I am sorry.
