That Night On My Pool Deck

I spent last night on my pool deck
Sitting under the moon
Hoping the answers to my questions
Would come to me soon.

I thought about you
I thought about me
I thought about everything
Like how we will never be.

I longed for you beside me
Holding me tight
Keeping me warm
Being my light.

You were there
And I was here
Not ever being with you
Is my greatest fear.

I looked up at the stars
Shining bright in the sky
I thought about everything
And started to cry.

My life is a mess
Nothing ever goes right
My relationship with my mother
Is just one big fight.

No one really loves me
It’s all just lie
I do everything I can
For them to at least try.

This loneliness sucks
I wanna be with you
I want a perfect life
I want to start over new.

I wanna be happy
I want to be filled with glee
I want to be the opposite
Of everything that now defines me.

Sitting under the moon
Helped me realize so many things.
Most importantly,
My life without you
Is like an angel without wings.