I like Elizabeth Taylor,
I like Jimmy Carter;
I eat maggots with mustard,
And earthworms for starters.
I rub peanut butter all over my body,
Do you have any jelly?
Instead of a teddy bear, I sleep with a nuclear device,
It vibrates on my belly.
I watch reruns of "Three's Company",
While clocking how long I can keep my eyelids open;
I set a table for me and Drew Barrymore,
She might stop by, I'm hopin'.
They say I'm not okay,
But I have no dependency;
It's the world that's messed up,
Lunacy is the Tendency.
I think I'm Spiderman,
But for some reason I fall off the walls;
I'm still wondering what that bad taste in my mouth is,
And why my neighbor has no balls.
I like to say the "Star-Spangled Banner" backwards:
"Brave the of home the and free!"
While taking a dip in the spin cycle,
Too bad when I step out, I can't see.
I think Kotex is a form of modern art,
And I once built the Eiffel Tower out of tampons;
I took job painting a house,
And did a fine job with crayons.
They say I'm deranged,
But who has the true opportunity?
It ain't the one you are talking to,
Lunacy is the Tendency.
