Well Kathryn, here is goes
I’ll try to tell you what only God knows
This is how I can stand to repeat
The same words that defeat
When I look in the mirror
It’s hard not to shed a tear
And when I look at my arms
I see how I caused my own harm
But then I long to do it again
To feel the goodness of a sin
I tell him to leave me
But I don’t want to hurt him, believe me
I just don’t want him to be
The reason of why I’m not free
The reason of why I’m still here
And why I can’t let go of those fears
I can’t stand to be dependent
If only life was as resplendent
As many people say it is
But if only I was really his
I know that if I was in his life
I could put down that knife
I could start over new
I could feel better than I do
But I sit here day dreaming of pain
Like I’ve already gone insane
I wish there was a shot to cure me
But only the shot of a gun can free me
I still can’t seem to pull that trigger though
Because somewhere deep in my mind I know
That I love him more with each breath
So I keep postponing my untimely death
