My best friend and I talked of love at first sight
From my nails, the polish's scent seeped
I knew she'd never know about my nights
And what I do right before I sleep
I felt the heat rise to the top of my head
Just thinking of how much I fear
All the suicide letters she's never read
And the shame only I could see in the mirror
I saw bruises that weren't there anymore
And scars that would forever stay
But she'll never know of the pain held in store
That's there with each coming day
I would never have the strength to tell
Because surely these are sins
And I know if I died I'd go to hell
But it feels like that's where I've been
So with each breath I take
I feel my heart break in two
To tell her would be a mistake
But it's something I need to do
I've never trusted in my life
Because people could never understand
About the pain that is released by that knife
All I have to do is hold it in my hand
It's the only friend I've known
The only thing that gives me hope
It helps me fight when alone
Somehow it helps me cope
So how do I tell this person here
How do I show her the pain
I know there's a possibility she'll sneer
But I have no reason to complain
I've fought this fight too long
And I need someone to know
I've tried so hard to belong
And I don't want her to go
So I'll hide what I am for now
Till I build up the courage to trust
I'll tell her someday, somehow
But for right now, I don't think I must
Even so, the thought comforts me
To know soon, on my own
I'll have the strength to let her see
And I might not be alone
