Wishing doesnt help

At night I stare in the dark
And wonder what happened to my heart
I'm living in confusing atmosphere
I'm breathing in the hellish flames
And the Hellish fumes
I wish I could see in eyes of red
Most of my life I wished I were dead
But then I realized
Life is precious
Why feel like this constantly
Why feel like your nothing
When you know your something
If they pass you up
Its their loss not yours
They will miss the sweetness of you personality
And the happiness of your heart
I wish there was something
I could do that would make me be happy and whole again