The Reasons Why I Am..

Inside my tattered body,
There lies a broken heart,
A story behind each break,
Of how things came apart,
It started way back in 99,
After a wrong accusation,
They said I couldn't go back,
In fear of discrimination,
Before I knew it she was gone,
Taken from an attack,
I never got to say goodbye,
And she's never coming back,
And then there was that boy,
The one who spoke the lies,
Told me I wasn't worth it,
And ignored my late night cries,
They all called me names,
The ones I called my friends,
Stole everything I had,
And watched my happiness descend,
Then there was that time,
When no one really noticed,
But back then is such a blur,
I can't put that in focus,
So let's skip to just last year,
When things just went awry,
It was then that I decided,
My life didn't deserve a try,
And then just after Christmas,
I realized my reality was fake,
I collapsed onto my floor,
That's when I really felt it break,
And then she came along,
When I thought it couldn't get any worse,
That's just how it happens,
It never stops to hurt,
The pain never subsides,
It just pretends to disappear,
But I've lived with it for so long,
I'm numb to the voice inside my ear,
The one that tells me when to smile,
And tells me how I should act,
The one that tells me when to get the razor,
And make a scar I can't take back,
This is why I am the way I am,
You've all been asking me why,
Rumors have spread untrue,
Replaced truth with a lie,
So now you know some reasons,
And you might better understand,
That there's nothing I can do,
I just am the way I am.

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