Just thoughts not a poem

You don't tell me certain things and it breaks my heart. So i had to break up with you b/c you wouldn't call me you wouldn't make a damn effort to WANT to be with me.. So now i sit at this computer wishing you would just call or even write... I miss you so much but i guess it doesn't matter anymore right?? I guess i wasn't worth your time or i just wasn't good enough... You said you wanted to be with me but now my eyes are watery b/c you really don't... I'm having to go through this shit all over again.. I want this to work.. I want to see you i want to talk i want to just kiss you one last time... But my last resort is to just sit back and cry.. Once again my cheeks are wet with tears.. once again i want a razor blade.. once i again i am lonely.. What was it?? Was i too ugly?? was i just not good enough?? Did I say something wrong.. did i do something to make you despise me so?? What have i done to deserve this?? why are you doing this to me.. I miss you.. Do you miss me?? Am i worth you missing.. were you just playing with my head like most guys?? were you just trying to get int my pants like most guys do?? Did you think i was just fun sport.. Was i a trophy to your friends.. Did you brag a/b how you had me fooled..?? Will i ever know the answers to these questions or will i forever have to cry???