This is good, and has a powerful message. Not that I am real religious (I do have a few Christian poems if you care to read them), but the only thing I would say that needed changing in your poem was that referring to God "your" should always be capitalized.

OK IL DO THAT ITS JUST WHEN I TRY 2 EDIT IT IT SAY I CANT SO I'L LEEP TRYIN AND THANK U FOR THE COMMENT