My so-called inner peace

I took a walk in the rain tonight
And thoughts just appeared
And I smiled
And found my so-called inner peace
I thought of pouring showers,Lightning storms, Tornado warnings
When I watched lightning split the sky
I saw your eyes and smile
I saw myself in my so-called inner peace
I still dream, though sometimes my sadness makes it impossible
I used to think I could do anything
But find it difficult now to smile
But my so-called inner peace was brought out when the rain fell
Because rain cleanses the earth, gives it renewal
Each night I walk out it the rain and feel muddy earth between my toes...its like my heart get renewed too
I feel suddenly like everything will be ok
I tried finding my peace in cutting
Because all negativity falls with each drop of blood
My peace is diminishing with each passing day
There was a time when rain recharged me fully...this one time when i jumped in my a pool
you were there lots of rain and water